June 1, 2012
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Man, it feels like this pregnancy keeps going downhill, but I try to be optimistic and remind myself that at least I'm not dealing with preterm labor or, god forbid, problems with my baby. My baby girl is doing just fine. She's been quiet today, but had hiccups twice and I even felt her breathing. It was a very cool moment to say the least. She's moved around a little, but seems to fall back asleep after a short period. I'm not concerned. I listened to her heartbeat on the doppler and it was strong and beautiful and the same rate it always has been.
Dealing with this gestational diabetes thing has been both a cinch and a challenge. It's getting frustrating not being able to eat whatever I want. I miss eating treats and cereal and sushi. Lord knows, I'd like to pack a muffin and eat it after baby girl is born. Actually, I could probably get away with eating whatever in the early labor since I will need the energy for hard labor. I betcha carbo-loading for hard labor would be effective provided that labor itself doesn't cause nausea and vomiting. I was told that a woman will burn about 40% more energy during labor, it's that intense. Anyway, it's been a cinch at the same time because I've found foods that I like and some things that I can still get away with eating. I have been put on insulin, which I take before eating dinner so that my bedtime numbers are lower so that I can eat a bedtime snack so that my morning numbers are lower. It's a fascinating chain reaction that carries over to the next day. I don't mind taking the insulin itself except...
It's a total game changer.
Little did I know, being put on insulin officially makes me high risk and now my midwives must subsidize my care with an OB, just in case. Just in case of what, I have no fucking idea. I think it's a waste of time. My midwife still gets to deliver my baby and ultimately she and the nurses will take care of me, regardless of my diabetic status. So why the fuck do I need some useless OB? Can you tell this pisses me off? lol My prenatal care has become a legal issue at this point. My midwives regulatory college dictates that once a pregnancy is considered high risk they can no longer be the sole care providers. So I've become trapped in some medical political bullshit that's only complicating things. My anger is not directed at my midwives or the OB I will be referred to. If anything my anger is directed to the system and, perhaps, my endocrinologist for putting me on insulin like it's no big deal. Well, it is a big deal if it's going to change the course of my prenatal care.
My midwife also hipped me to the possibility of an induction because they may not want me going past my due date. Neither do I, but they can fuck right off with that. I am not letting them potentially ruining my birthing experience with a shitty drug induced labor that is more likely to lead to the use of instruments or a Caesarian to get her out because she was not ready. The good news is that she may have only mentioned that because my diabetes puts me at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia so they may only induce if I happen to develop that. However, she could have told me because they just don't want her getting too big. Based on the size of my belly I can't see myself giving birth to a 9 lb baby. This is a detail that I have to clear up with them at my next appointment.
On the other hand I am leaving work at 37 weeks when I am full term, so I will have three weeks to get labor going on my own. At 36 weeks I plan on getting an exercise ball and using that to help her drop as well as drinking the raspberry leaf tea and perhaps doing a few other things to get a head start. But it sounded like my midwives are on board with helping me get the ball rolling once I hit 37 weeks to avoid any unnecessary complications and to encourage my baby to come on her own.
Oh, AND I get to go for another ultrasound. I'm excited about this part. They don't know for sure what position she's in, though they suspect she's breech. So I will have an ultrasound done to check her position as well as fluid levels and her weight. I can't wait see her again and I'm dying to get a better approximation of her weight.