Hannah seems to have a routine. I feel ambivalent about it. It's great because I can get 4-5 hours of sleep in a row at night and only get up once to feed her. It sucks because she gets fussy between 9-12, right when I want to shower, eat, etc. She also gets fussy in the evening for a couple of hours. I'm talking full out inconsolable crying. Last night was the worst. Tonight she's much better, but I feel on edge like I'm expecting her to break out into a full on meltdown at any moment. It's so hard to see her little face turn beat red and her eyes get wet with tears as she's losing her shit. Nate picks her up and then puts her back down, back and forth, when she's like that and she just keeps crying and crying, but I think she just needs to be held regardless of how hard she's crying. Putting her down is helping nobody. I know the first months are precious and I need to enjoy every moment of them, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to when she turns 5 months old and the period of purple crying ends.

For the most part she's great. She sleeps a lot and when she's awake and looking around she's the cutest thing ever. As much as she fusses in the evening, that might contribute to her sleeping so well at night. Maybe it wears her out. Who knows. As hard as it is to deal with sometimes, there are worse things in life. I'm enjoying being a mom and I can't wait to watch her grow and develop. She's already smiling and my heart melts every time. She's cooing more too, which is equally as cute. I'm looking forward to that first giggle

Wow! My little girl is a month old already! She is doing great. She just had a checkup yesterday and she weighed in at 9 lbs 3 oz. She looks bigger in every way. We even had to go up a size in diapers She has an ultrasound scheduled for August 16th for her hip, which I'm really looking forward to because it means we get to say buh-bye to the harness, albeit slowly over three weeks. I really hate that thing and I think she does too. I can't wait to be able to put her in sleepers, onsies with snaps on the shoulders (which I have plenty of and are going to waste) and pants, and be able to rub her back with nothing in the way. I think the Baby Hawk will be more comfortable for her as well.

I'm also pleased to say that the baby blues have lifted and I am having fun Obviously she gets fussy and will have bouts of incurable crying, but I have more patience to deal with those moments and I just keep reminding myself that in a few months that will all pass. Nursing is going really well...unless she's fussy, lol. Then she's unlatching all the time and spilling milk all down her face.

...Ok, I walked away from this, which I had started yesterday so I have no idea where I was going with it, but I shall continue.

At the end of the month we're moving to Salt Spring Island. I'm pretty excited about it, although it does mean we have to give up our kitties. I'm sad about this...a lot. I'm really sad to see them go, but I think I would feel a little better about it if I knew where they were going and trusted the person who took them. I need to know that they will be loved and well taken care of. Hell, it would be awesome if they were even more well taken care of than me, i.e. regular vet visits and shots. I haven't taken them to the vet because I don't have a car to transport two cats, but they've been strictly indoor cats and haven't been exposed to anything other than what me and Nate could potentially bring home, but I don't think there's anything that we, as humans, can transmit to our cats. They're not eating strange things from outside to give them worms or anything, but I will admit that they need a regular visit just to check on their overall well being. But, I digress...I will miss them terribly. They are AWESOME cats. They're so affectionate and loving and pure entertainment. I had a really crappy cat in the past so I feel like I've hit the feline jackpot with these two and now I have to give them up. A friend of mine is also moving so I've told him that if he happens to move into place that accepts pets then he is more than welcome to take my cats because then at least they'll be going with someone I know AND I'll be able to see them again.

Anyway, we'll be moving into my father in law's house, which is on a mountain facing the ocean. There will be so many nice things about living there, like the free laundry, the quiet, the privacy. I have to admit it will be very nice to take a break from apartment living for a while. And it's not like living with my father in law and step-mother in law is anything new to me. Every time we go to Mexico we stay with them. My father in law drives me a little crazy sometimes (mostly when starts bitching at my step-mother in law), but with this living situation he'll be off working (he travels for a week or two at a time) and they will eventually go to Mexico for the winter and leave the place to us.

Now we have a shit ton to do. Nate is done work on Wednesday so at least he'll be home for most of the month so that I'm not stuck doing most of the packing. His mom is hooking us up with some boxes which is awesome I just really hate packing...but this does mean we can purge a little.