November 30, 2012
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Jeez Xanga...be slower why don't you.
I am not having a great evening. My cycle has returned despite exclusively breast feeding and when I ovulate I get so irritable. Poor little H has been driving me bonkers and I feel bad getting so frustrated with her crying. I just remind myself that it's not like I feel this way every single day. If I did I'd most certainly have PPD, but I otherwise feel fine. I just hope it only lasts today and doesn't hit me tomorrow. Anyway she's been nursing a lot and fussy in between so I think she's teething. I just wish she could be happy to lay on the floor and play for more than 5 minutes so I could actually do something leisurely. Bedtime is in an hour, so once she's in bed I'll probably just retire to my own bed because I feel like shit.
Despite the crappy mood I actually did myself up today like I used to before H and before Salt Spring. There's something about the island that makes me feel like I have absolutely no reason to put on makeup and clothing other than pajamas or yoga pants. It's what I don't like about small town life. I miss having a daily routine of beautifying myself for the public and I would probably put more effort into it if we still lived in the city despite having a baby. Makeup takes an extra 5 minutes so having a baby isn't much of an excuse to not wear makeup. But living in a place where there isn't really anywhere to go and there's hardly anyone around it's hard to give a shit. I'm getting tired of being so blah, though. I'm growing out my hair too, which is evilness unto itself. I don't want to have it trimmed to keep it under control and try to make it look decent because I don't trust any hair dresser to not take off too much. I've had too many instances where I tell the stylist that I'm growing out my hair and then I walk out with nearly an inch gone, not an eighth. They don't ever seem to get it so why should I bother taking three steps back just to attempt to make it look good. I'm just going to put up with the nastiness that is uneven lengths until I can throw it in a ponytail even if it's a short, stubby little thing.
Anyway her royal (teething) highness is starting to whine again so I will get off before she explodes.