October 7, 2011

• Oh sweet hot water bottle, you are my friend! By giving up the birth control pill in order to jump of the baby-making train, I've signed up for all those lovely PMS symptoms in the meantime. While there's not really anything that nurse my disappointment in the fact that I am, indeed, not pregnant yet, I do have a hot water bottle to nurse my physical symptoms. The first month off the pill was too good to be true: no symptoms whatsoever. Now I'm three cycles in and, honestly, it's not that bad. I didn't have much in terms of PMS except for a couple of grumpy days, but today I'm feeling it. Actually the intensity isn't much different that when I was on the pill as it never really did much for cramps and backache for me to begin with, but I will note that it feels different somehow. This could just as easily be in my head, but, man oh man, it's like I'm a bloody teenager again rediscovering all this feminine fun. I feel silly sometimes, but after being on the pill for four years straight one can forget what it's like to not be on it. I taking pride in taking back my fertility, though. It feels good just knowing that my body is no longer at the mercy of a prescribed substance. It also makes me feel more grown up knowing that I've come off of it as a conscious decision to make use of what my body can do. Not to mention, I find human reproduction so freaking fascinating.

  I'm at the point now where I couldn't be casual about TTC (trying to conceive) even if I wanted to. I've learned how to read my body in the past couple of months. I know when I'm about the ovulate and I know when my period is around the corner. I chart my BBT (basal body temperature) on a daily basis, which I find rather fun. It's cool to see the chart as it forms, how everyday is different, how every cycle is different. Temps are never a clear indication of pregnancy, but it's certainly clear about the cycle ending as the temps take a nose dive. Here, I'll let you see mine.

  TTC has been a little all-consuming of my free time. I spend time on a TTC forum where other women support and sympathize with each other as each month proves unsuccessful. I've only just begun so it's not like I've been hard done by infertility or anything, but I'm quite taken by the ladies that are on there. I like them and some of them I feel really bad for as they have been TTC for not just a few months, but a few years. I'm worried I'll be not so lucky, that will take forever or that one of us has some kind of fertility issue. It's a double edge sword because worry in and of itself can make it difficult. Stress is a huge factor not being able to conceive. I'm trying to be as casual and worry free about it as I can.

  Currently Velociraptor By Kasabian Man of Simple Pleasures see related

   

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