August 7, 2012
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routine
Hannah seems to have a routine. I feel ambivalent about it. It's great because I can get 4-5 hours of sleep in a row at night and only get up once to feed her. It sucks because she gets fussy between 9-12, right when I want to shower, eat, etc. She also gets fussy in the evening for a couple of hours. I'm talking full out inconsolable crying. Last night was the worst. Tonight she's much better, but I feel on edge like I'm expecting her to break out into a full on meltdown at any moment. It's so hard to see her little face turn beat red and her eyes get wet with tears as she's losing her shit. Nate picks her up and then puts her back down, back and forth, when she's like that and she just keeps crying and crying, but I think she just needs to be held regardless of how hard she's crying. Putting her down is helping nobody. I know the first months are precious and I need to enjoy every moment of them, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to when she turns 5 months old and the period of purple crying ends.
For the most part she's great. She sleeps a lot and when she's awake and looking around she's the cutest thing ever. As much as she fusses in the evening, that might contribute to her sleeping so well at night. Maybe it wears her out. Who knows. As hard as it is to deal with sometimes, there are worse things in life. I'm enjoying being a mom and I can't wait to watch her grow and develop. She's already smiling and my heart melts every time. She's cooing more too, which is equally as cute. I'm looking forward to that first giggle
