September 14, 2012
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Having moved out of the city, you'd think I'd be feeling more relaxed, but that's not the case. I like our cute little abode surrounded by forest, with the sweet deck and skylights. But I feel kind of isolated. In the city I could just walk to places and get out of the apartment and GO places. Here I can certainly go for walks, but I'm not used to going for walks for the sake of walking and go nowhere.
I dunno...I'm stressed out. I love my little girl so much, but I'm bothered by the fact that I don't always have down time. I rarely listen to music anymore because I'm not going out and I'm not making myself busy around the house. I'm constantly with the baby, holding her and feeding her and watching TV or playing on my phone while I do so. I get that this is what being a mom is all about at this stage and she'll grow out of it and become more independent, but right now I hate the feeling that I can't do anything because if I put her down she's going to fuss until she cries. At least she's sleeping well at night and I'm getting sleep.
It also doesn't help that our car is a standard and I've only driven it twice and learning to drive stick in the process. So I'm not confident driving at all yet so we'd may as well not have a car since I have to rely on Nate to get us places. Well, I know that's not true. Nothing is stopping me from getting in the car and practicing, but again with the baby thing.
I'm sure all of these are my own mental barriers getting in the way. I want to love living here and find ways to manage my time better and enjoy every minute of it. I love the time I spend with my baby, but sometimes I get to that point where I NEED my space.
Also, Nate is working from home so we're not getting that regular time away from each other like when he had to actually GO to work. I thought it would be nice, but hindsight is always 20/20. I liked it when he went to work because we both got some space from each other. I can tell we're driving each other a little crazy.
Comments (1)
put that little girl in a stroller, put ur ipod or phone on speaker and go for a walk and sing/listen ur heart out. fresh air does everyone good, plus time to urself
my favorite time of the day is when I jog with my two kiddos, my dog and listen to music. (i don't use ear buds though, scares me too much to not hear my surroundings with all my precious cargo)
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