June 29, 2012
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getting there...
Only one week left. I am FULL of pre-baby anxiety. I'm bored at home most of the time, can't be bothered to find anything worth entertaining myself with other than the TV (which has NOTHING on for the most part). All I can think about is next Friday. I know the week is going to fly by, but right here, right now it doesn't seem like it will. I find it a little strange that I'm suddenly so very excited about putting myself under the knife, but I don't care about that part anymore. I'm going to have my support people in place, which is only my midwife and Nate. They're all I need. And the end result is going to be amazing. I keep thinking about the moment when she's pulled out and shown to me...and then starts to cry. I hadn't even given the crying any though until my OB mentioned that it takes about 30-60 seconds for it to kick in after she has cleared her lungs of fluid. When she said that I mentally gasped and thought, That's going to be the most wonderful and life changing sound ever. Anyway I just want to see her sweet little face and hold her. I couldn't give two shits about my recovery or how sore I'm going to be. I'm just way too excited to meet my girl.
I'm a week away from her birth date, and I'm also a week away from no longer being diabetic. I could literally jump for joy. I'm excited about no longer being pregnant, about not having this solid heavy belly. I'll gladly take the bowl of jello that my belly will become after. I'm excited about seeing the change in Nate. Oh my, I CANNOT wait to see him take her for the first time. The look on his face is going to be so epic! AND I'm looking forward to that first attempt at breast feeding and skin to skin contact. I just pray that I can be sent to L&D recovery and not general recovery.
Anyway, today I'm receiving my first delivery of cloth diapers from the diaper service. I'd be more excited about that, but my baby anxiety is trumping everything these days. This weekend I hope to get out onto my dad's boat. I haven't been on it yet and I'd like to do that before baby comes. It's not a speed boat or anything. It's closer to a yacht so it won't be anything crazy. We probably wouldn't go very far, just picnic on it. On Monday my mother in law is taking us to get maternity pictures taken. We have a bit of a "couldn't care less" attitude toward it, but SHE really wants it done, we don't have to pay for it, and I think in the end I'll appreciate having the photos as well. I don't care right now because I'm so done being pregnant, but I can see myself looking at them a few months later and feeling glad I did it as I see just how big my belly got. Plus Nate and I have never had any professional photos taken together. Nate doesn't think he has to be there, but he really does because I want pictures of US. I told her that I wasn't super stoked about the mat pics and said that I'd prefer to have pictures of my daughter, but she said we're doing both. So if I'm getting free professional pictures of my baby I can indulge my mother in law and do a maternity shoot for her. Besides I haven't seen her since January and this brings us together.
As for the whole visitor issue I mentioned before. I'm over it. My father in law can show up, but that doesn't necessarily mean he'll be admitted to my room whenever. I'll have the nurses on my side and they will let him know when I'm ready for him. The last thing I need are visitors the day I deliver, but the last last thing I need is for him to barge in while in the middle of learning how to breast feed or something since I know my boobs are going to hanging out all over the place. Plus I don't want anyone disturbing the baby. I think as long as they're not hovering all weekend long and just there for a few hours in the afternoon/evening for ONE day then I can suck it up and let them see her.
Comments (2)
with preston we let everyone come visit. it was AWFUL. after giving birth the last thing i wanted to do was 1. share my baby and 2. have everyone near me. ick. so when emma was born i had rules. i didn't want anyone outside waiting for emma to arrive. when i was wheeled into my room after preston there were at least 15 people in my room. not happy. so i wanted to be wheeled into emptiness after emma was born. and i was. i asked for no visitors for at least 2 hours after i gave birth. then the only people i allowed to visit was my parents, jeff's parents, jeff's aunt and jeff's granny. my friend (she's also my ob's nurse) stopped by after she got off work as well. and everyone visited at once so the rest of the time i was alone with my baby and jeff....it was perfect
i loved it. and for the reasons you mentioned. you get interrupted enough with doctors and nurses coming to draw blood. you're trying to breast feed and to bond with your baby. you want to be comfortable. 
the look on the husband's face is priceless. if you think about it look at him as soon as the baby is shown. i looked at jeff as soon as both kids popped out and he had tears streaming down his face. it's the second most beautiful moment in the world (the first being given your baby to hold/breastfeed for the first time) it's such an amazing love girl. just...overwhelming...heaping sobs amazing. lol. i can't wait to see pictures, best of luck to you
)))
Don't be anxious! Think of the 9 months you've waited to see your bundle of joy! Sending good vibes your way. Can't wait to see pics of your sweet angel.
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