Ok, I take it all back. Today certainly made up for the weekend. We got out a lot sooner than I expected. We had to go downtown because Nate can't seem to find any Vans shoes that he likes. Apparently nobody likes to stock more than just two pairs and those pairs are usually the same design only in black and white versions of each other. He found some at Sport Mart and bought two even though one pair is half a size bigger just so he has another pair on hand when he wears out these He only wears on pair of shoes. No joke. He's got his Vans and he's also go some flip flops for Mexico and the summer, but that's all he wears so he goes through his shoes pretty quickly. I don't think his old ones lasted a year. 

After shopping we went to Steamworks for a late lunch. It's one of my favorite places because they brew their own beer and serve it on tap. It's really great beer that if were sold at a retail level I would buy on a regular basis. In the fall they make a pumpkin ale that I wish they kept around all year, but it's part of their seasonal brews much like the delicious hefeweizen they brew during the summer. I found out last night that hardly anyone stocks let alone taps any form of hefeweizen in the winter. This made me quite upset, lol. I suppose I'd have to find a pub that proudly serves Hoegaarden  

After lunch we saw The Green Hornet. It wasn't a bad movie, but not something I would rave about. If I had to choose a film that Seth Rogan was in I'd have to go with Knocked Up, Funny People, or Monsters vs. Aliens. Anyway the 3D was well done and there were some funny parts. 

So it was a good day. Now I'm finally getting around to doing the laundry. I took my another of my coworker's shifts so I'm working a quick 7-11am tomorrow morning. I like that shift because it starts so early that I get out early and still have a whole day ahead of me. 

The weekend is over, but I don't have a weekend of speak of. It's okay, I was complaining about my lack of hours at LD, so my coworkers have been helping me out by giving me their shifts, but I'm also helping them out because they're in school or trying to land another job elsewhere. Apparently it's quite the process to get into corrections, but so far my coworker is doing well. I don't mind helping her out this way. I'm glad this corrections thing is working out for her because it's always nice to see someone get into something they've been wanting to do for a while, and she's also one of most annoying people I have ever worked with. I give no hint of exaggeration or sarcasm when I say this either. She has this incredible ability to drive everyone she works with crazy, and I wonder how that will translate to working with a bunch of hardened correction officers in a prison. She worries about everything and talks a lot. I can't see her standing up to crazy chicks with big attitudes. Anyway, who knows what she'll actually be like. Retail is a very, very far cry from corrections as it is. 

I digress. I worked Saturday and Sunday, but this weekend was extra exhausting because I decided to take a bit of overtime on Saturday and worked ten and a half hours. You'd wouldn't think an extra two hours would be a big deal, but I was bagged when I got home and I was bagged when I woke up on Sunday. I worked 8 more hours on Sunday and came home even more bagged. I was so tired I wanted to cry over the fact that the kitchen was a mess and I was starving and I still had to make some sort of dinner. Nate ended up making dinner for me, but it didn't really change the fact that I'm growing tired of Nate spending whole days at home and not ever lifting a finger to help me out by doing some dishes. The only time he's every helped out is when he's using vacation time and spending it at home. Maybe he does them then because it's more apparent that he obviously does nothing all day. Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces and I love taking care of him, but he knew full well I was working a lot this weekend and it never crossed his mind to think, "Hey, maybe I should help out a little." I've given up on asking him because he still doesn't do it. I've come home from work and nothing has been done and I'll ask him about it and he'll say, "I'm getting to it." Really? He's had all day! So today, I'm NOT doing some things, like making his coffee. His arms are not broken and if he wants coffee he can put his game controller down and make it himself. 

Funny, I thought I'd be looking forward to today, but I'm not. My apartment is stuffy, we probably won't get around to doing anything until about 5, and I can't seem to find the structure in this day to make time for laundry or other cleaning. 

I'm grumpy.

Yesterday I temped at a dental office out in Delta. It's not that far from my place, just over the river and then a short bus ride. It only took me 25 minutes to get there. I was also going against rush hour transit traffic, so that was a bonus. I have to admit that I was pretty terrified of working yesterday. My skills aren't exactly what they should be for having been out of school since June. I was especially nervous about taking x-rays and impressions because both of those can trigger a gag reflex and quite possibly make a patient throw up depending on how sensitive that gag reflex is. Obviously this is something I should get over, but when it looks like someone's about the heave my body reacts with butterflies and the need to back away. I hate the sight of it happening and the smell of it afterward. Not to mention, to me it is so mortifying to be the person who causes it to happen in the first place no matter how unintentional. 

Anyway, there were lots of x-rays, mostly bitewings, but no impressions. I found out the dentist does his own hygiene on most days, so I got to do lots of prophy polishing and bitewings. I think it was a fluke that every single one of his recall patients needed them. I got lucky and did some really nice x-rays in the morning, and then they got crappy in the afternoon. My guess is that I got too confident from the morning, so I stopped being careful. But, truth be told, I just need practice. I could tell the dentist was happy with me. I did well for a new grad, I think. I even got to work with amalgam for the first time. When the day was over he thanked me for my help, and for me that goes a long way because I know there are dentists out there who would never think to thank their CDA. Then, the receptionist for the day was really nice older lady who had already retired from being CDA, but got back into work because she was bored. The actual receptionist had a death in the family so this other lady was in for the day. She told me that he didn't sigh or make faces or complain, which apparently he usually does he's working with a frustrating CDA. So I guess that's a good sign. He had made an off-hand comment to a patient about how, if I was interested after today, we could "build a relationship" (English is his second or third language and he likes to use funny or strange expressions that seem like they would translate directly from his own language). I interpreted that as he's interested in hiring me, which made a little excited to say the least. It made me want to bring my game and work harder. Yesterday wasn't just a temping day, after all. It was a working interview. 

If he does indeed want to hire me, I'm not exactly sure how it will play out because I'm going through a temp agency. I'll have to give Di a call and ask what protocol would be for this because I don't want to make the mistake of going around her and breaching my contract. She's really good and really tried her best for me. At any rate, if he offers me the job I'll take it. There are so many things about it I like, such as: a quick commute going against rush hour, it's close to many stores should I want to buy my lunch, there's lots of windows, the office is roomy, the place isn't old and out of date, I like the dentist, the office doesn't give me a weird vibe, they're going digital (which means I can learn dental software with the rest of the office rather than having my lack of knowledge in it a hinderance for getting hired), AND it would be full time but only Monday to Thursday (which is Nate's schedule too!). Oh, I missed something: he's a very self sufficient doctor and can and is willing to do most things himself. I come in handy when he double books himself for hygiene, but otherwise I'm kind of left to do my own thing and I like that too. Not to mention I'd be the only CDA there for the day so the dispensary would be my own domain. I wouldn't have to share it! AND the least important, but handy nonetheless, there's a Mark's Work Wearhouse across the street should I need an emergency pair of scrubs or I just want to buy some after work. 

But, oh my gosh, only 4 DAYS A WEEK!! Ahhhh! 

The only thing I'm hoping for is that Mexico doesn't put the kaibosh on this. It's coming up very soon and he seems a little desperate to have someone permanent in there quickly. It's only two more weeks that he's have to put up with temps and then I'm all his. 

By working a customer service position, I have seen many interesting people. New Westminster is not a cookie cutter town with housewives that all dress the same, men in business suits and teenagers that look like they've stepped out of a GAP commercial. New West is quite diverse, including the mentally ill, the drug addicted, tradesmen and the welfare class. Working at a drug store we get everyone the town has to offer, and I mean everyone. On some days it seems like we get more types than the other. Welfare Wednesday, for example, we get all the poor people buying up toilet paper and cigarettes. On the last Wednesday of every month it's pension cheque day, so we get all the retirees coming in for their marmelade and cigarettes. Then, there is any other day of the week, month, year where we get all kinds of interesting characters. More often than not I act quite fake to all these people. They come in and make these comments as if they're funny and I'm supposed to laugh like we've known each other for a long time. It gets exhausting...really. 

It's not that I'm unfriendly outside of work, or at work for that matter. I've just learned to keep my guard up and I'm huge on keeping my personal life away from the customer eye while at work. I've been hit on, had lewd comments thrown my way, and dealt with too many unfunny AND creepy people. I'm not naive and I certainly don't want to come across as gullible. What I wish I had is the guts to be is assertive. Today I had a customer, a man, who said something rather inappropriate. Dare I say it falls in the category of sexual harassment. He said, "Do you want to spank me? Have I been a bad boy?" Apart from the fact that a comment like this is a completely inappropriate thing to say to a cashier, he wasn't even an attractive man. No, he was old, smelly, fat, repulsive, and could not keep his mouth shut. I promptly said "No", but in such a way that I meant it as "That was not funny, and you've made this whole thing uncomfortable". And, apparently this guy is a Santa during the holidays, which only made me inwardly shudder because if moms knew he made comments like that to young ladies I doubt they would let their children sit on his knee. Anyway, I wish I had the assertiveness to say something to put him in his place. I'm not talking something lame like, "Sir, that was rude." I wish I had something utterly witty that would have left him speechless. Then again, I wish I could have been a little rude myself and said something like, "No, but I can kick your ass out the door instead, if you like." At any rate, I neither took it seriously nor personally. I was put off by it, to be sure, but later joking about it with my coworkers. Sometimes seeing the looks of shock and horror and disgust on their faces is worth it. 

Fun fact: Over the last 4 years that I have been with my employer, I have been asked out at least five times by four different men. I've actually had someone say I should take that as a compliment because I'm cute. I mean, I know I'm cute. I go out of my way to look good every morning, but it's lame on these guys' parts. I'm at the point now where I've been with Nate long enough that I tell them that I'm married. One of them asked where my rings are and I told my first blatant lie in years: "I don't wear them because they'll get wrecked here. I handle too many things." Honestly, if I had rings that wouldn't even be true, because I'd wear them like a talisman to ward off other men. I'm tempted to by fake ones to wear only at work, but the problem with that is that we have too many regulars that would notice and I'd be bombarded with questions. This would actually bother me more because it would mean more lying and divulging my personal life, however false it may be, and I don't ever want to give the impression that that information is available to everyone. 

Anyway, moving on. I had a lady today who asked for a plastic bag that she could tie to her head to protect her hair from the rain, like the real ones old ladies like to wear. I think she was embarrassed because she kept rambling about how funny it would be if it because the latest trend. I mean, you know how you sometimes bumble around with you words when you realize you've said something silly and you try to correct yourself? She was talking like that. I tried to get away without seeming rude so I started to walk backward, slowly. I think by doing that I ended up rushing her, but really she could have said, "I need it to keep it my hair dry at the bus stop." and left it at that. And, you know, she had really bushy curly hair and to me it only makes sense to prevent any further frizzing. 

But if there's something I have learned about people in general when needing customer service is that they tend to give way too many details on whatever it is they want to inquire about. In other words, they talk way too much. I usually see this in refunding. I really like the ones who only say "I'd like to return this." versus the ones who go off on this whole story about how it didn't work or how it was the wrong the one. Sometimes I imagine my own parody of hollywood romantic "don't talk" moments by putting my finger to their lips to hush them and say softly, "I don't care, I'll still refund it." What the masses have yet to realize is that we have the most lax return policy that they'll ever seen in their lives AND they don't have to lie about it. It's important that we ask if a product has been used because, naturally, we don't want to put used products back on the shelf. Some people associate "used" with "nonrefundable", so they lie. This helps no one. They make themselves look bad, create more work for us, and can potentially make another customer upset. At the end of the day we right it off and get our money back too. Everyone wins. Lying is unnecessary.

But, you know, for all the nuisances I put up with working in a customer service role, I don't hate it. I don't love it but, in a way, I do like it. 

Oh yes! Finally! I have a temping day. Just one next week, but it's also a working interview because this place is looking for a full time CDA. I think I remember the lady from the temp agency telling me that this dentist is a little difficult to work with, but I guess I'll have to wait and see exactly what she means by "difficult". I've already dealt with one very difficult dentist and that whole day was a nightmare. If this one is anything like 'her', I won't be taking any full time position there I can tell you that much. At any rate, I'm glad this came up ahead of time. I have a week to mentally prepare myself. I know I'm going to be nervous. 

Since finishing school in June I haven't been able to find a job as a dental assistant. I'm not exactly sure why. I don't know if dentists really do prefer someone with experience or if I'm coming at this with the wrong attitude or if there's something about me that just doesn't seem to fit right. Not working all this time is only making me more nervous because there are some things that I am flat out losing my confidence in like putting on a dental dam and taking x-rays. Also, my lack of confidence would only make things more tense with a nervous patient and there are A LOT of those in dentistry. It pisses me off so much. Honestly I want to go back to LD and work more regularly. Last week and this week I've been sitting around trying to keep myself busy Monday to Thursday. I hate not working. I feel so useless and when I think about the money I'm not making it stresses me out even more. Not to mention my student loans have entered repayment...oh, the stress just keeps building.

Hmm...funny how blogging sometimes helps me think through some scenarios. Okay, I have decided to go back to a somewhat regular schedule at LD, give them maybe two more full days and if something short notice comes up from a temp agency then LD will have to get by without me for the day. I know it's not good practice from an LD perspective, but it seems to me that as far as using a temp agency goes they're more likely to find something permanent for me to try out for rather than offer me work on a day to day basis, so I can't see it happening very often anyway. I wouldn't even care if it got to the point where I was working 7 or 8 days in a row. 

If you're wondering why I'm not job hunting on my own while sitting around all day, then you should know that dental assisting isn't like retail. I can't just go door to door and talk to a dentist and ask if they are hiring. Maybe it sounds silly, but I can tell you right now that dentists' schedules are far to busy to deal with a drop in hoping for someone to hire her. Hiring a dental assistant is secondary when it comes to their patients. Of course it's important that they find one, but my point is that that's why they use temp agencies or craigslist. They let the applicants indirectly come to them so they can pick and choose on their own time and find time slots to slide people in for interviews. I've been looking on craigslist, but I really hate using it for a few reasons: 1) you have no idea which office you are potentially applying to, who the dentist is or where the office is located exactly, only city, 2) ANYBODY can use craigslist and I don't feel comfortable emailing documents to an anonymous email address that contain my home address and phone number, for all I know it's some creep collecting people's information for improper uses and 3) most of the job postings are in cities that I don't want to commute to like South Surrey or White Rock, or North Vancouver. I'd be spending at least 2 hours of my day total just getting to and from work. I'm not up for that and I don't think I'm being unreasonable either. Who would want to do that?!

Anyway, temp agencies are nice and not because they, in a way, do the job hunt for you, but because they deal with the same clients on a regular basis and they get to know them and can tell you what these people are like. They can warn you if they're going to be a bit difficult to work with or if they're really nice. I find that kind of information valuable. 

I'm just so sick of sitting around all the time feeling useless. Whether it's LD or temping I want to work! 

Cleaning, organizing, reorganizing, rearranging, arranging, and making space feels so amazing! We're starting to make use of the spare bedroom, by making it a computer room. Not only does that make the room functional for both of us, but it also frees up some floor space in the living room and makes it feel more open. I like open spaces, everything feels less cluttered. We have a corner unit and in one corner there's a window on each side. They're huge, old school windows, single paned too (which I would so love to change, but even if we could afford to do it for the landlord there's no way we actually would for fear of not being reimbursed), that are now completely unblocked. The big computer desk used to be in that corner, blocking at least half of the window space combined. Now there's more natural light coming in and with today being sunny, I couldn't feel better. 

There's still a lot to do. I have to throw some things out and vacuum all that newly unoccupied floor space that has accumulated dust and what have you. Next week I'll be hitting up IKEA either with or without Nate. I'll make sure it's okay if I go without him because he deserves a say in what we fill our apartment with. I'm not buying much, just some practical items. I'd like some hooks by the door and in the bedroom, a side table by the couch, maybe another lamp (but if we can find a lamp shade that happens to fit our retro floor lamp that's even better) and maybe an area rug. I want an area rug in the entry way and the living room at least, perhaps in the kitchen as well. 

Anyway, I should get back at it. Still tons to do! 

Oh my goodness! I have had a horrible headache since last night before going to bed. I thought I could sleep it off, but no such luck. I went to work with it. I got through the Christmas lunacy, thinking I might ask to leave early, but I made it. This is the first week in a couple of years that I got 40 hours and I really want to reap the benefit of working that much, so I'm glad I didn't cop out from a headache. 

It is a really bad headache though...It's a steady pounding in the middle of my head behind my forehead. You know how when you hang upside down you start to get that pressure build up from all the blood running down into your head? That's what it feels like...along with the feeling of my eye popping out of my head. I've never had a migraine before, but I don't think this one because I'm not having issues with light or sound, just a steady pressure with frequent throbbing. I tried taking some Advil earlier, which didn't help. I tried muscle relaxants with ibuprofen and that didn't help either. Apparently nothing can make this thing go away.

I think that's how dehydrated I am. 

See, I am very bad at drinking water, very good at drinking diuretics (coffee, tea, soda, mostly the middle one). Now that I've drunk two glasses of water I'm starting to feel better. And you know what? I'm going to drink two more because I should and I need it and perhaps it will help purge m body of all the other excessive crap that is in my system. 

Speaking of other excessive crap I think I have a new year's resolution: take better care of my body. It's quite a broad new year's resolution since it encompasses physical activity, diet and general healthy choices. I don't want to cut anything out because that will only make me fall back into what I'm doing now, but I would like to cut back (CARBS!!). Rather, I need to pick and choose when to eat certain foods. I'd have no problem with my dinners being a piece of meat with a salad because I'd also like to increase my raw food intake. A coworker who's all about eating raw food says it's great. She feels awesome and has more energy. And it's ultimately the best way to get your vitamins. I've been reading blogs by people who focus on eating vegan. There's one girl in particular who eats vegan because her body won't accept anything processed so she has no choice, but she's made the most of it, really benefitted from it and is blogging about it. I'd never go completely vegan like her. I believe that meat and eggs and dairy have their benefits. I could do with less sugar though lol. 

Besides diet, there's also the physical aspect of taking care of my body. I want to go back to Bikram's yoga sooo bad I swear my body aches are psychosomatic. I've done it before, though for no longer than a month. Within that month all my physical problems went away and stayed away for several months, my self esteem took a boost and I felt awesome! There were only two problems that got in my way: money (it's expensive!) and commitment. I have a hard time keeping it up. For some reason the benefits don't outweigh the laziness. Curse you laziness!! 

Oh boy...I guess I have two new year's resolutions then: take better care of my body and stop being so lazy. 

I have a confession to make...

I do not like Christmas.

It's a big consumerist orgy, if not a religious holiday that people don't even recognize as such anymore. It's pointless and stupid and a big waste of money. We shouldn't need an excuse to get family together for dinner or exercise some generosity. 

I just want this to be over...

I've heard from several people who take a multi vitamin on a regular basis that they feel good. I should do the same as well, considering my diet isn't really balanced. I think it's rather challenging to maintain a fully balanced diet in this day and age with all the food that's available out there in restaurants and what not. Anyway, that's not what this post is about. I've just realized that it's time to start taking my vitamin D again. I haven't seen a doctor about this or been officially diagnosed, but I think I suffer from SAD. SAD is seasonal anxiety disorder, or in laymen's terms someone who suffers from lack of sunshine (winter) and experiences depression, mood swings and the like. I noticed I was like this two winters ago and I was blaming my oral contraception, but I've found one that has been working for me for about two years now. In the summer my stress is minimal, I have way more energy and motivation and generally I'm happier. Right now I feel like I want to hit my head against the table every time I look outside and see grey clouds or rain. I want hide and think of Mexico and how much I can't wait to be there. I feel like crying for no reason....if that's not a blatant symptom of depression then I don't know what is. I have this constant lingering feeling that shit is going to hit the fan at any second and my life is going to fall apart. This is the wrong time of year to struggle in a career change. I'd rather be doing this in the spring/summer months. 

I remember I was taking Vitamin D before in the winter but not because I was thinking that I wanted to ward off the winter blues. I just thought I needed to supplement. I think I should start taking a multi vitamin too. It would be nice if one of those vitamin companies made a "winter formula" for a multi vitamin.