Phew! Finally got that theme sorted out. I'm using the classic Xanga look and feel because I couldn't figure out how to get rid of blue border around the side modules. I added a ticker of my baby's growth progress. My baby will have a heartbeat by the end of the week. How incredible is that?

My worries are easing a little. At first I was really worried about miscarriage because my mother has a genetic disorder that made it difficult for her to keep a pregnancy. She was pregnant 5 times and I was the only one out of two that made it term and the only one born healthy. I had a little brother who was born, but didn't make it past three days. I suppose it's better to say I'm worried that this genetic disorder was passed on to me. However there is a 50 percent chance of it going either way.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. It was random with her, despite her having it. I made it after all. It wasn't impossible for her to have kids. But, miscarriage unto itself is uncontrollable. Basically, it doesn't matter whether I have this disorder or not, it could happen anyway because that's how nature rolls.

KNOCK ON WOOD! (I still gotta say it, lol.)

In my book I read that 20 to 30 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage and it said that's a high stat. Well, I would like to be optimistic about that statistic and say that 70 to 80 percent of pregnancies go full term. Now THAT is a high stat!

I'm part of a due date club on justmommies.com. I enjoy spending my time on there and most of the women are already on their third or fourth pregnancies. It's going to be a great resource and support system for me, I think. We all ask questions and share information and support. So far my club is doing well, only one miscarriage, but we're all very early in our first trimesters, only up to 7 weeks so far for those due in the first week of July. I have made a more comforting observation that I would never share with these ladies because there's no point, but I think I'm the youngest mom (to be) in the club. Everyone else is in their thirties...and the likelihood of miscarriage increases into the thirties. I'm only 26, I eat well, I could exercise more, but there's nothing wrong with me either. Not physically, systemically, or otherwise. Other than this possible "genetic disorder" I mentioned, there's nothing that could make one more likely and put me at high risk...at least to my knowledge. I'm not trying to brag, but I just think that maybe I have less to worry about because I'm younger.

I'm also anxious for things to start happening. I am SO excited about the future bump, though I don't expect to start growing until January. I just want it to be the New Year already when I begin my second trimester. Having said that, when I do make it to my second trimester I am going to celebrate.

@grizzlybearr - haha! I'm taggin' a-you!  

Everyday is different. Symptoms are coming and going, energy goes up and down. I'm just thankful I don't have morning sickness let alone vomiting (knock on wood). A "friend" of mine is pregnant right now too, in her second trimester, and during her first trimester she did nothing but puke all day long. I can't help but feel smug about the fact that it's not happening to me and that my first trimester may very well be much more pleasant than hers. I often wonder if weight and diet affect morning sickness. I don't think anyone has bothered to make that connection and I'm certainly not qualified to based on one person, but she is overweight and she does eat a lot of junk just to keep her hunger under control. I know for a fact that she's hungry all the time not because she's pregnant but because she eats junk, that goes back to my gluten free argument. I read that when pregnant you're not really eating for two. In fact the body becomes more efficient in absorbing nutrients from the food you do eat, so I think if you eat healthy all throughout a pregnancy hunger shouldn't be an issue because the body is getting what it needs.

I just dealt with a bout of constipation, but I just recollected that I had been eating a lot of cheese, so I think with a combination of the cheese and the hormones it was an uncomfortable couple of days. If I eat so much fruit and veggies I don't understand how I could ever be constipated. It would slow down, yes, but not full out constipated. I'm feeling much better in that regard, but now my boobs are getting much more sore. But, I like it. I like pressing them and feeling the soreness. It's reminding me that I am indeed pregnant. I'm dying for an ultrasound to actually see the sac and I'm dying for some beta tests to see my hCG levels go up the way they should. My appointment with the midwife is December 6th, so in the meantime I feel like I'm left hanging. It kind of pisses me off and I don't know if it's an availability thing for them or they just want me to wait until I'm 8 weeks. I do have a slight hope that maybe they have their own in-office ultrasound machine so I'll get to see it that very day and not have to make a separate appointment for that.

I'm not really feeling all the pregnant yet. I am pretty tired and not just in a sleepy sense. My body gets easily exhausted from doing the smallest thing. Last night making dinner wiped me out. It doesn't help I've had three early mornings in a row either. I going to master the nap, me thinks, otherwise I won't be able to watch my evening shows. I'll just keep sleeping through them.

For shits and giggles I bought a few more dollar store "pee sticks" just to watch the line get darker. I'm keeping them and dating them. I used one this afternoon and the line was much darker I'm just surprised (and yet not because it's common) at how faint the line was at 15 DPO. No wonder I got a negative around 12 DPO.

I'm not so thirsty today, which is great, but that might have to do with the bag of Riceworks chips I ate earlier today. I felt like I needed the salt for some water retention anyway. My lips don't feel like they're going to crack off my face now.

I got three words to say:

I.

Am.

Pregnant!

That felt good.

My estimated due date is Friday July 13, 2012.

I just found out yesterday morning. I was late, but it still shocked me. I honestly did not think the timing was good this month. Oh, how wrong was I? Today I am 4 weeks and two days. It's all very new and feels like it's in such a delicate state. I am just hoping and praying for, as the online pregnancy community says, a sticky bean. I have not experienced a miscarriage, but I am worried about one. I just want to get through this first trimester and I really want to go for an ultrasound I left a message at a local midwifery yesterday, so hopefully I'll hear from them later this week, possibly set up an appointment to meet them (there are two midwives that work out of this practice). Whatever happens I'll keep updating here because I'm going to want to vent about things and share my experiences.

Oh man! Am I ever excited. And so is Nate!

I finally read the last section of my book that talks about eliminating wheat from the diet. It's the part I should have read first. Oops. That's not to say I haven't been doing it wrong, but I do have some products on my shelves that are still much too carby to really benefit from this diet change in the first place. Some of it already made sense. I would really like to know who doesn't know that vegetables have more fiber than wheat products such bread. To me that seems like common sense. I have been pooping like a champ since increasing my veggies. It's great. By the way, about 24 hours after eating that hotdog (because I was drunk and hungry) I got the runs. How suspicious...it only proves just how awesome it is to NOT to eat wheat. I thought I would blame the coconut milk hot chocolate heated in the microwave, but...nah! Diarrhea is such a common symptom to have after consuming wheat after not for a while that the timing is anything but coincidental. Oh yes! I have also pinpointed my gassiness down to spinach since I am no longer consuming anything else wheaty or otherwise that would cause gas and bloating. These past couple of weeks have been wonderful observation, investigation and fascination as I see and feel my body change. I'm not really losing weight tho, but I think it's going to be very gradual if it's going to happen. I think my love handles are looking smaller these days.

Anyway, I'm getting a little bored with the food that I'm eating, so to explore some new and delicious recipes I've put a book on hold at the library called Plenty by an author whose name I cannot remember right now. It's a cook book dedicated to vegetable recipes, which I am in dire need of because I can't keep eating the same thing over and over again.

Yes, well, I have been slacking. I'm not going to lie.

I am doing great! This gluten free thing is the bees knees. Not only have I cut out gluten and wheat, but I've also cut out major sources of starch and (gluten-free) carbohydrates as well. It's all cheese, fruit, veggies, seeds, nuts and animals for me. I've even cut out most dairy. Yes, I said I'm eating cheese and I'm also eating yogurt...okay, fine, I've cut out milk. But, I drink lattes from Starbucks and just by replaces that milk with soy I'm feeling loads better. To be honest, I think cutting all dairy out of my diet would make this both too challenging and plain ol' boring to the point where I could set myself up for failure. I absolutely love cheese and I refuse to give it up. I'm eating this mozzarella my mother in law left behind and I'm putting goat cheese in my salads and that alone makes this whole thing pretty awesome. I am starting to feel like I need to find some new recipes though. It's not that everything is plain, it's that I'm eating the same thing day in and day out for the most part. I need some variety.

Speaking of plain, food is anything but. Besides wheat and milk, I've also seriously cut back on my sugar intake, for example I'm getting the sugar free syrups with my soy milk lattes at Starbucks. Between next to no sugar and no carb heavy meals throughout the day my appetite has both decreased substantially AND my sense of taste has improved. I don't need much if any sugar at all anymore. I'm putting Xylitol in my teas at home, but even that stuff has a very mellow sweetness to it. On Saturday we went out for Halloween and those gin and tonics were the best tasting gin and tonics ever! Tonic used to taste bitter to me and that night it wasn't at all. Tonight I had a piece of dark chocolate and I thought it was full on milk chocolate. It's crazy how some things taste different and everything tastes better. I'm not noticing much weight loss, but I feel like I'm losing weight. It doesn't seem like my body's in a hurry to shed visceral fat, but with my guts lack that full, jam-packed, feeling I used to have. I still get gassy though Stupid spinach. This lack of weight loss really goes to show how much exercise plays a roll because I'm still not exercising like I should be. If I start exercising then the weight will definitely start sloughing off. The thing is, I've replaced all that glucose-based "fat" with healthier sources of fat such as olive and canola oils, nuts, seeds and fish. I doubt cheese can be considered a "healthy fat", but I'm not eating tons of it either. I'm grating it on my eggs in the morning or topping my salads or having a slice or two before dinner because I'm feeling peckish. (Plus, PMS is making me crave stuff, albeit healthier foods, lol.)

Now the cherry on top of this little sweet deal of a cake I have going is the stretching I'm doing at night before bed. I'm seeing my chiropractor once a week, and (almost) every night I'm stretching my legs, hips and back. I'm sure it's a combinations of things such as diet and stretching, but suddenly my legs and feet don't ache anywhere near how they were, say, last week. It almost feels like a miracle. It's FANTASTIC. I can go home without, basically, being in pain. Now I just read in my Wheat Belly book that wheat contributes to osteoarthritis and achy joints, so I don't think the stretching is doing all the work. I'm feeling more wonderful benefits of going wheat free

My mum doesn't live close by. She lives up the coast in a small town called Sechelt that's only accessible by ferry. It's not terribly far away. I got their using nothing by public transit once and from my home to the town center of Sechelt (ferry included) it took me about 4 hours. So by car it's not that bad. Tomorrow is my birthday so she came over for a visit. Usually when she comes over she makes her car available to me and we go buy things that are normally hard to get home without one. Today I didn't want to do that. I've been spending a lot of money on groceries and building a gluten free kitchen. Plus I just wanted to spend time with her and not just use her car...except for driving practice. It only made me wish all the more I had car of own even though I still can't justify having one in the city. Anyway we went out for lunch and I bought a new blender with my birthday money. After trying to make a smoothie this morning in a blender that can't even blend ice anymore, I had had it. Don't ever buy a blender that has speed settings called "Siesta, Andale, Arriba and Yeehaw". It will be a piece of shit. Amusing, yes, but shitty. So I went to the London Drugs by the IHOP (no pancakes for me, just a bowl of fruit topped with yogurt) in the mall and bought a mid-priced Oster blender. It's rather pretty. It's selling points were the auto shut off timer and 700 watts of power. It's stainless steel with a glass jug, a digital display and 18 speeds along with all metal parts, pulsing action and an ice crushing button. It's pretty awesome and does way more than I need it for, but, you know, it has auto shut off. It purrs when it's on. I can't wait to actually try it out for tomorrow's smoothie. I'll be able to successfully blend kale into it. Huzzah! Hell, I'll be able to successfully blend!

I just pulled some banana blueberry "muffins" out of the oven. It's from the Wheat Belly book they're pretty much the same as the pumpkin ones I made the other day, just with different feature ingredients. Otherwise it's still made with ground almonds and flax and NO FLOUR whatsoever. I was mentioning before that the pumpkins ones turned out gross because I used Stevia to sweeten them. I bought Xylitol and use that this time instead. I did a finger dip test to see how it tasted on its own and I can't wait to try it in tea. It was mildly sweet with no chemically taste hitting the back of my throat like Stevia does. It measures cup for cup and while it's not totally calorie free it's only 12 calories versus 60 calories (sucrose) per serving and won't spike blood sugar levels. Oh, and it's also good for your teeth. I'm just waiting for the muffins to cool before I try one out. If they turned out well I'll have breakfast for tomorrow. Yay.

By the way, speaking of the ground flax that's in these things, Nate ate four of the pumpkin ones yesterday and lets just say it did a better job than the coffee usually does in terms of regularity, lol.

*edit*

Oh my god! The muffins are fucking delicious!!!!

Currently Mylo Xyloto By Coldplay see related

It's been a week since I went gluten free and it hasn't been too terrible, lol. I've eaten really well over the past week, I must say. While I have felt the urgent desire to quit altogether I remember that it's going to take a while (a few months at least) to adjust to this kind of eating. I consider myself lucky, though. I don't have celiac disease or any kind of sensitivity. I've just been reading about the health hazards (yes, hazards) of eating so much wheat and I simply want to live a healthier life. That being said, I don't need to be so strict. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up, but I'm just going to avoid wheat when and where I can on a perpetual basis. Either way it requires me to make healthier choices about what I eat and ensuring that I avoid wheat just like avoiding too much bad fat or refined sugars.

I just tried making these pumpkin muffins out of the book I'm reading. I think they would be good if I hadn't used liquid stevia to sweeten it. I originally wanted to try Xylitol. I have no idea what it's tastes like outside of a stick of gum, but if it tastes good in anything (especially coffee and tea) then the least I can do is something good for my teeth while I'm at it. Sadly, I forgot to pick it up (AGAIN!!) on my way out of work and was at the health food store and thought, Hey! I should try liquid Stevia if they have it! Well, it's disgusting. To me it's not sweet at all, just...gross. Even though it's all natural from the Stevia plant it tastes like chemicals to me. It also weirds me out because unlike regular sugar that hits the tongue at the very tip, this stuff sits at the back. Yuck! So my sugar substitute failsafe would be Splenda. I know what it tastes like and it's not bad. If I want to keep real sweetness in my baking though, I should at least use a healthier form of sweetness, something that my body can digest, such as Agave syrup. OR...I could stop eating baked goods, lol.

Today I'm on day 5 of being gluten free and I'm feeling all right. I had headaches for about three days as well as really achy muscles on the third. Today I'm going to my chiro because I know that some of this pain isn't just from wheat withdrawl, I'm just plain ol' messed up and haven't seen my chiro in over a month. I didn't realize how much she was doing until I stopped going. I've been nagging myself to get to the gym because I know that, ultimately, excercise is the only thing that's going to make me feel better long term. My guts are happy tho! I've been reading online that some people have terrible symptoms for weeks, however those people are also Celiacs and have guts that are in a much more ruined state than my own.

But, I have these fleeting moments of wanting to give up. Sometimes I feel like it's too complicated, that it sucks that I can't just eat whatever I want. I think that's the wheat talking. I just have to keep going because I know that in three months time, MAX, I won't even want to touch anything that has wheat in it and I will (hopefully) be several pounds lighter too. This doctor is claiming, after all, that the average person will lose about 25 pounds in the first 6 months of cutting wheat out their diet. I'm not so sure I would lose that much. That would bring me down to about 112 lbs and I haven't weight that much since before puberty. I would be thrilled to be 120, but this is all besides the point. I mean of course I want to look good, who doesn't? But I really want to avoid arthritis and diabetes and heart disease. I'm thinking that I want to look and feel fabulous at 40 and not be a worn out pile of shit taking more pills than I can count on both hands everyday. How often do people in their 20's think about how their lifestyle will affect them when they're 40 or 50? I would guess not a lot considering it's the time in life when everyone thinks they need to be partying and drinking their faces off. (And I'm not saying this goes for EVERYone. I know some young moms out there in their early 20's who have other priorities )

Anyway, so far, so good. I thought the cooking bit would be difficult, but honestly, I'm finding myself to be more creative than ever in the kitchen. I'm exciting about building a gluten free inventory.

Recently my dad went on a gluten free diet after reading an article in Macleans magazine written by a cardiologist. When he told me all about what he had read I was skeptical. It seemed to me that going gluten free is becoming just another health fad, which may be true. However, I found a book at a book store the other day written by a cardiologist by the name of William Davis called Wheat Belly and it's all about how wheat affects health and why it's actually very unhealthy. (And, yes, he is the very same cardiologist who wrote that magazine article.) It also describes how celiac disease is on an exponential rise due to wheat, which has been so genetically modified that it's nothing like what ancient wheat used to be. So now I'm starting to think that going gluten free isn't so much a fad as it is a recognized "treatment" for celiac disease, which 1 in 133 people have nowadays. I don't have this disease (at least I don't think I do), but Dr. Davis claims that wheat is America's number one cause for obesity.

The book is geared more towards weight loss and how giving up wheat will help excess weight melt off. He makes it sound so easy too. He has other arguments as well that explain why wheat is so bad for you: it is so genetically modified to the point where it's not really "wheat" any more than I am my grandmother, how our bodies digest wheat and how it affects our blood glucose levels and cholesterol, and how our bodies become addicted to it. He even talks about how studies have been done to prove that elimination of gluten from the diet can calm a schizophrenic's mind. Dr. Davis even goes as far as to suggest that with all these health associations telling us to eat more "healthy whole grains" they're locking us into this vicious cycle of wheat addiction that makes us crave, buy and eat more food, thereby filling the pockets of various food companies. It sounds very conspiracy theory-ish.

But, this book has me hooked, just like wheat itself. I'm finding this all very fascinating and I'm hanging on the fact that this guy is a cardiologist who has dealt with many patients and has seen this method tried, tested and true. So I'm conducting an experiment by going, not just wheat free, but gluten free. Apparently there is a subtle difference, but gluten is a protein present in wheat, so by eliminating gluten I automatically eliminate wheat. I started yesterday and it's been getting tough. A part of me wants to give up already because I feel hungry all the time and the journey seems daunting. Well, I guess I could attest to the addiction aspect of wheat, that's for sure. I must say I had an awesome lunch today, though, in an effort to cook and eat gluten free. So far I'm doing really well, but my body isn't liking it so much. I know the next few days are going to suck, but it's not like I'm allowing to snack on fruit and veggies in the meantime to keep the hunger away until my body levels out and my appetite reduces, which is supposed to happen once the addiction has been overcome. I must stay strong because if this works I'm going to feel and look awesome within the next few months.

Currently Wheat Belly: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back to Health By William Davis see related

Besides, if I can quit smoking, of all things, I can quit gluten!